CDPunt(igam) Writes

In the third grade, I decided I wanted to be a doctor. I remember our social studies book had a picture of an older gentleman (and since I was in the third grade he was probably in his late twenties) in a lab coat with a stethoscope. I wanted to do whatever it was that guy was doing. Thinking about it, I probably had been primed for the thought because one of my first memories of Christmas includes doctor’s set from Fisher-Price.

I loved that thing. I’d take all of my dolls’ blood pressure, listen to their chest. The stethoscope actually worked. It was an amazing toy. If you need one, the one pictured above is currently available on Etsy for $146 US plus $41 for shipping.

That desire did not go away. In fact, my undergrad studies were pre-med focused. In addition to studying the chemistry that I thoroughly enjoyed, I took several biology classes to round out my studies and make me a desirable candidate for medical school. That all changed one day after I picked up the packet to register for the MCAT my senior year. That is another day story.

I went instead to seminary where I was pretty sure that I was going to work in summer camps and youth groups. Instead, I met Joel and that is a ton of stories for other days. I settled in to Pastor’s Wife pretty well. Never became one of those ones that attracts women’s ministry to them and writes bible studies and leads conferences. That sounded cool, but that is a full time job and I was already working as a homemaker and then mom. When I suffered a RIF in the mom job, I decided to retire. As my hours got less and less, I started doing more and more writing. Fiction mainly. That’s what writer’s who have a ton of free time do, right? They move out of succinct non-fiction emails, blog posts, grocery lists and into copious word play.

Even that didn’t take up enough of my time. I wondered what else, how much more writing could I do? I ended up subbing. And then the subbing went to long term subbing which woke up that old camp director vibes and it muddled it with all that chemistry stuff.

Now, I’m spending my summer studying chemistry and instead of me wondering what else I could do to fill my time because there’s too much time, I’m often wanting more. More time to study, more time to grasp ideas, more time to talk about these things with people to see if what I’ve learned is interesting to others.

It may not be that I myself will ever be a medical doctor. I’ve thought a lot about third grade me. And maybe God needed me in all those places but never for the reason I assumed. Would I have studied as hard, devoted myself to all those classes if I had known I wouldn’t use them in any traditional way until most of it had dried up and needed a monsoon refresher to be restored? No. I’m not the kind of person that just does things for fun. I do things with purpose. Even the long fiction I write isn’t just fun stories, they explore questions I have about life and I try to express something I’ve learned along the way.

Either way, I feel like I am Inigo Montoya and I am going back to the beginning and getting punch drunk on gas laws and thermodynamics and molar volumes. It’s good. I’m looking forward to where God takes me next.